Loss of Identity & Purpose – Who Am I?

Loss of purpose

Suffering with loss of identity and purpose can have a real impact on women in business going through their MidLife-Journey.

As a consequence women can start to experience self doubt and a lack of confidence – asking Who Am I?

My Story

I was in the middle of the last financial crisis leading my team, my daughter was taking her GSCE’s and I was in the process of starting a family business.

So why if I had everything I ever wanted did I feel lost and invisible?  I know now it was as a consequence of my early menopause causing fluctuating hormones.

What causes our Loss of Identity & Purpose?

As our body changes, we may have business challenges, children leaving home and coping with unexpected challenges. These can all create chronic stress which can impact our hormonal fluctuations and MidLife changes.

During perimenopause there is a steady decline in oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Our Oxytocin levels start to fluctuate and focus moves away from a sense of nurturing.

As our bodies move into menopause our levels of oestrogen fluctuate and we see low levels of progesterone and testosterone. Our oxytocin decreases and our vasopressin increases, moving us to focus more on ourselves and new challenges.

Family changes including children potentially leaving the home around the same time as entering the menopause, we can feel like our “roles” are changing both at home and in our business or corporate careers.

How to Improve our Identity & Purpose

There are things you can look at doing to change or influence these emotions using these frameworks and principles from my MidLife Resilience System.


  • Self-Talk – Look at how you are talking to yourself. Try not to compare yourself to others. You are your own person, don’t worry about what other people think.
  • Self-Care – Ignore the mirror and carry on taking care of your MidLife-Body & MidLife-Mind. Have a hot bath, massage, facial or anything that puts you as the centre of your world.
  • Self-Lessness Your hormones are on your side. Embrace the change from nurturer to warrior.
  • Communicate – Talk to people you trust explaining how the menopause is impacting you. Share the science explaining “it’s not you it’s the impact of your fluctuating hormones”.


  • Calm – Reduce stress and create time for yourself to feel more grounded.
  • Clarity – Try and drink at least 2 litres of water a day. Your brain needs it to function efficiently and clear “brain fog”.
  • Confidence – Read my previous blog on Self-Confidence for more detail.


In summary, it’s MidLife-Relations: by taking care of ourselves and remembering “it’s not us but our hormone fluctuations”, explaining to our family and colleagues what we are experiencing and start to visualise your next chapter – you never know what you can achieve was the MidLife-Warrior!

With MidLife-Mind: by thinking clearly we can reflect on our past and remember how we got to where we are today to reinvent ourselves for the future.

With You Through Change & Growth

It’s important to remember that our bodies start to change as we approach the age of 40. We must take ownership and understand why and how our body is changing.

When we understand what is happening to us we can manage our journey from PeriMenopause to Menopause then PostMenopausal.

By taking ownership we can manage the symptoms our “40 things to accept over 40” and reduce the consequences of our changes – well on most days!

Watch my Coaching Boosts on the Women in Business MidLife-Channel for more detail on the “40 things to accept over 40”.

My passion is coaching Women in Business & Corporates through this journey. Simply, I’m “The MidLife Body and Business Coach” to make it easier for MidLife Women in Business & Corporates to make both a priority!

Book a fast track MidLife-Coaching Boost with practical solutions including a sneak preview of my Women in Business MidLife Club which launches at the end of October.